When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

Just when have you seen my dick

Or exactly how open does the internet have us.

There is a video out there which basically sings “the internet is for porn” and for the most part since the majority of us got that first AOL disk it really has been. I remember back before we had smart phones, camera phones, Ipads, ipods, or other easy to hook up to the internet devices with which we could share pictures. Man if you wanted to show your dick/pussy/Tits to somebody back in the day you had to have a polaroid camera(or a trustworthy photographer to develop them for you) a scanner and the right software for the scanner. You had to e-mail or IM it and hope all went well, bandwidth issues aside if it fit the small as hell MB limit you could exchange naughty bits with a friend.

Not to say this was perfect, oh no we had people pretending to be other people, other genders, other races. It is a problem to this day we have not fully dealt with, yes with the ability to cam you MIGHT be able to catch a muffuka lieing to you but many will still claim “I don’t have a cam” or “I don’t do that” some really don’t but others are dragging out the game a little longer. Some of us can catch feelings online the hundreds of conversations, the sharing of interests(lot easier to do when you can send a link), the daily social interaction. Just like you can learn in ya PJ’s you can jam to videos together across the country or the world like they are right next to you. Look up a funny comedy gag on youtube(or something) and watch the clip together. You can cyber, all without spending gas or having to deal with the overly cologned, sweaty, hairy chested, macho crew wasting your time with a bad Rocky Balboa impression.

A joke that writes itself Anthony Weiner (D-NY) got caught sending pics of his “Hebrew National” across twitter. Yes Weiner’s weiner has been the talk of the political world for over a week. Now as far as scandals go a grown man “sextweeting” a grown woman(in her 20’s but last I checked legal), while frowned upon isn’t rocking any axises(axi?) have you not heard of #twitterafterdark #tittytuesday or #wangwednesday? Pimpin we have whole adult social sites DEDICATED to the exposure of dick, twat and titties hell assholes and balls if you are so inclined.  As often is the case when you have freedom of expression you really are going to see and hear it all.

Ladies and gents some of our fellow inhabitants have some extremely freaky, deep, disturbing, boring, awe inspiring, you can think of it somebody has done it hobbies/fetishes/fantasies/habits. Now this is in no way to claim my dick isn’t hanging out somewhere on the interwebs oh no, that would be a tale and a half. I tend to be the “if you’re brave enough to ask you should be rewarded type”. And depending on where we know each other from you could be an accepted friend request away from being able to see without asking.That’s how it is in cyberville nowadays you want it you can google to find it.

Oh there are still the “holier than thou” folks out there, they have pages on the naughty sites too, they just hope you won’t call them on it. Whether they are:gay, bi, trans, straight, watersporter, sub,domm, sado or masochist hell thats just the stuff you know about google “red wings” sometime when your not eating lunch. What is the norm and normal out here is a lie, MOST of us wear masks for respectability or cover. Not exactly sure who’ll put their “happy fun time” on blast you have to play one roll in public another in private. Of course the truth can be found by simply browsing ones internet history. Oh there’s all kind of big booty, BBW, chocolate, latina, asian and MILF porn in mine. Some hentai(what fuck you tentacle porn is that shit you can’t turn away from), lesbian, ffm, orgy, etc yes I fully admit to being perverted why lie just to make you comfy? Is there shit that gives me the heeby geebies hell yeah, and I stay as far away from it as possible, but as long as it isn’t pedophilic, snuff, scat or bestiality hey to each his own(those things of course being either ILLEGAL or “Frowned upon in this establishment“). You want to watch a guy jerking off whilst getting jabbed with a corkscrew and slapped with a tickle me elmo, it may be in bad taste(what I already admitted I have issues blame Bob and Steve), do you. You want to get blown while covered in molasses tied up with fruit rollups with a trumpet shoved up your ass blowing Sweet Georgia Brown if you have such a talent enjoy. But the faux outrage of some people one plane trip away from being caught with a house boy massaging cold cream into his balls isn’t impressing me one bit.

By the way, I loved George Carlin as a kid, watched Andrew Dice Clay, and G4tv you give me time and opportunity I will whip up some doozies(thus me doing it here where I have free use of the entire english language). Still this is who we are now, we’re here, we’re weird and yes that is your uncle Bernie in the scuba fins, tutu,  and bustier we were just trying to figure out the best way to break it to you. All of us are freaks, some of us are just full of shit until we get busted and have to beg for forgiveness on our relig….. hmm let me NOT bust some people out, but you watch TV, hit youtube, twitter, read shit on the internet, you’ve seen teary eyed “apoliegees” before, muffukas ain sorry they did it, they mad they got caught.

Damn I went on with this one, you know the name easiest way to find me. I ain a playa, I don’t crush a lot but damn did you see her ass when she was ridin 😉

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