Does Primaldata Look like a Bitch
As I use this blog to say it how I want to say it when being nice just ain good enough I’ll recount my ‘U.N.I.T.Y’ moment better known as “Who you callin a BITCH”
It was a late afternoon and it was about time for me to get off from work and a customer asked me to go to his store and set his Geovision system up to be visible from the internet and his phone, after settling on a price I went over to his store and got ready to speak to the men behind the counter. Problem number one:I notice the Darker Skinned male of Indian decent looks familiar. And I don’t mean oh they all look alike familiar I mean “muffuka ain you the one from the store down the street who was playing games when it came to the money the last time”, and as if to show me just how dumb he thinks I am he plays the exact same game he used to play at the other store, “Excuse me, here to work on the what? Where are you from? Are you sure the Boss called you?” I tell him to call his boss and ask if I was expected, after the other cashier got confirmation that I was supposed to be there my swarthy friend decided he was going to fool with me a little bit. I told him the price “okay we will give you 15 dollars,” and opens the door for me to enter, I back away from the door and reitterate my fee, than he adds 10 whole dollars to sweeten the pot for me and says “okay 25, but you better do a good job.” Time is money and personally if you’re going to jerk my dick while the hair length was okay I prefer that you don’t have any on your upper lip and that you were born with a vagina and that puberty blessed you with a nice full pair of boobs, but that’s just me.
Now because seeing him had already soured my mood for the job I make a phone call to MY Boss and inform him of the situation, well most of the situation I wait til I get outside to tell him about Senor Slickster, he sends me on another errand to return later. So I inform the two gentleman behind the counter that I will be back and I roll off to pick my mother up from work. I said I would be back so I return to the store and find that as usual if I leave the premises and the boss finds out there’s usually hell to pay. Thing is Senor Slickster can’t stop digging the hole even deeper for himself, when I inform him again of the price for “Services soon to be Rendered” he decides to get a little base in his voices and tells me “This is what you are going to do for the money, you will set it up on the internet and remove the viruses,” *tire screetch* “Excuse me,” I said “the ONLY job I am here for is to set this computer up to be seen from the internet and from an Iphone, if you have viruses you better call you boss and let him know that we need to renogotiate the deal and he will have to add at least X amount of dollars to our previous deal”. Oh that pissed him the fuck off, he tried to break bad “No you will do it for the already agreed upon amount,” now I told you I think in movies scenes sometimes when certain situations pop up and if this wasn’t the living room scene from “Pulp Fiction” when Jules and Vincent show up to collect Marcellus Wallace‘s property . See the first time when I repeated the prices, that was me eating his burger and drinking his sprite, and now, now I’m about to shoot his friend, oh yes it is going to happen. “Look it’s late,” I replied “you can call your boss again and tell him I’ll reschedule it for tomorrow or maybe next week sometime” now bitch boy half acts like he wants to crawl through the window at me(dog you 5’5 possibly pushing 160, bring ya ass over that counter if you want to 5’10 290 and a former bouncer and football player has a few American Traditions Like Le Choke’ Slamme and the Mudhole stomp he’d like to show you) the other cashier holds him back and after agreeing to pay me the agreed upon price to set up the internet I walk through the door to get to the cash register.
Now while my mind contemplated all the many ways I wanted to whoop dudes ass into next week I started working on the computer, and when I say genius had fucked up big time. If I wasn’t sure who the fuck he was before, his virus handy work was something I could not mistake. I go about setting up the ports and the proper software settings in the computer so that someone could hit the GeoVision software from outside and called my fellow tech. And to my surprise (dripping with sarcasm) instead of my coworker seeing the Geovision log in he went to a fake Facebook page that was asking him to click a whole bunch of links, we rechecked the IP address to make sure we had all 4 “triplets” right and still fake facebook page. Now they didn’t want to pay the extra money, because they knew that was coming straight out of their pockets, so the more sane cashier told me that since they paid for comcast they had FREE Virus software. Now I could have explained to him that most likely since the virus was even hacking his IP address that whatever free scanner they gave him was probably gonna need a little more direction that what he was prepared to give it but hey he had free, he didn’t want to pay and I told him that I was fully willing to come back the next day (since they didn’t have the laptop I was supposed to load anyway) and fix it for the agreed upon price.
He explained to me that he was going to let the software run overnight and that they would call me tomorrow when they had the laptop, so I collect my original fee for the first job(it was set up correctly, there is only one way to do it, and I know it was done) and walk out the door reminding him that I would come do the laptop no charge tomorrow but that any virus removal was going to cost the agreed upon fee. He assures me that he was sure that wouldn’t be necessary(because you know he is a VIRUS EXPERT) and told me he’d call tomorrow to get the laptop set up. Needless to say he had to pay my coworker the next day to get the viruses removed, I was out of town the next day somewhere in MS somedays I’m the in the city tech some days I’m driving, it didn’t take long with our shell disk it was necessary though. I don’t know if loud mouth was there that day, and I didn’t discuss our previous business (oh no, that was a much more private matter) but I got a huge chuckle out of fuck nut trying to Pimp me like I didn’t know who’s ass was bent over the bannister about to scream “Thank you sir May I have Another!” Like that Royal with cheese extra drippy don’t ya bitch, yeah don’t miss a spot of that spermonaise on that sandwich, fuck I look like. I tell people all the time, you ain got to curse and fuss with muffukas when they get disrespectful nah, thats when you pull out your real gangsta. Speak calmly and clearly and remind that muffuka that not only will they PAY WHAT THEY OWE, they are gonna thank you for them having to throw in A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA and you putting that stank on it. Notice how I skipped that little Fox Cartoon Joke, yeah cause that muffuka ain even worthy to dry his balls thats why I should have made him say it though, especially with the store being full. I was saying it in my head as I walked out the door, because you know I always have to be outwardly professional 😉