When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

Deadpool, one week later

As many of you know last Friday I took my youngest brother to see Deadpool for his birthday(youngest but his ass is damn near 30 now), and of course we had a great time. I’m guess that some of the Green Band trailers “cuts” to the Jose Conseco references were because somehow claiming Rosie O’Donnell was angry wasn’t PC. And happily Colossus is still a giant chrome cock gobbler(call me a juvenile but that is some shit Deadpool would say to Colossus). I’m going to try and stick to what was seen in the trailers as not to spoil anything, but once St. Patty’s day rolls around fuck that shit cause seriously after a month if you haven’t seen it you have already had the movie spoiled or are looking for spoilers to know whether or not it is worth seeing.

To answer that question, hell the fuck yes. I know that I and many other comic book fans complain about the changes they make to movies to fit them into the time frame(hell any fandom for that matter) as well as boil it down for newcomers. There were a few minor changes, well technically it is a major change cause you know WHERE and HOW you get your name is kind of important. I understand that change though, I don’t think Worm is gonna play a big part heading forward so THAT change isn’t so bad, it’s more of something to do with Wade and Weasel instead of Wade and Worm(and hey slippery vermin is slippery vermin right?) and Weasel is gonna be there forever(I think, I don’t think they’ve killed him yet in the comics). 

Wade’s relationship with Blind Al is hilarious as well, they didn’t get into how they met past the Laundry mat, and I mean you could look it up in the comics but basically Al was a target of Wade’s. Don’t ask me who needs to hire a hitman to kill a blind lady, but somebody hired the Merc with the mouth to murder a poor little old lady. This is not to say that Wade is the ultimate room-mate, nah he’s kind of dick. Besides the “Blind Al put together Ikea furniture” torture(and dude, that is sadistic), there is the box which was not shown. And I didn’t know blind Al had a Coke habit, but hey it worked for the movie. Vanessa is Vanessa, she isn’t a Damsel in Distress, she’s a tough girl with a harsh past and a love for the Merc. I also love that she wasn’t just “Oh Wade, you’re back and everything is going to be the same,” first she was pissed, then she was understanding, and then she was Raunchy.

I would call this Van Wilder with super powers, but it was so much more awesome. You didn’t have the unnecessarily stuffy guy just there to be a foil to Van’s fun-loving nature. Wade’s an Asshole, Ajax is a dick and they are on a collision course. Yes there is some fisting by Angel Dust here and there, Negasonic teenage warhead gets in some light petting, and the big Steel guy takes a pounding. By the way, while The Wolverine did show Logan slicing up some Hand Ninja(yes, that is their name) it would have been nice to see the blood and gore. It’s a guy with just under 18 inch knives coming out of his hands, and a bunch of guys with swords, blood should be spraying, guts should be falling out(of Wolverine and the hand ninjas), Meaty Chunks should be laying all around. No seriously, meaty fucking chunks, there is actually a panel in an old Wolverine comic where some hand ninja fall(dead) through a window and the canuckle head slices and dices first and asks questions later. He tells his companion at the time, “nah they were already dead”(which makes you wonder why he sliced them the fuck up, I’m serious it was like blood puree falling) goes to the roof to meet an old team mate from one of his many mind wipes. Wolverine HATES hand ninja, he kills more hand ninja than Captain America smacks around hydra members.


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