When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

It’s only rage quitting if they have a pulse

Since Donkey Kong there have been complaints about games being cheesy as fuck, I’m talking the new Chester Cheetah animation with the full Fu Manchu and the “fuck all yall you love me cause it’s cheetos attitude” cheesy. And honestly I ain here for it, I will start back from my last save point, restart the match, or go to menu in a heart beat I don’t give two shits about my current progress. I’m about to lose anyway, I’ll play a person out people make mistakes and allow you back into it. A first person shooter: Dick wad could go for the coup de gras without making sure he is in position for it. Nothing like catching an asshole with a head shot just when he was about to kill you or a team-mate. Shit Lopsided matches: fuck it I still get exp. In fighting games, hey you never know when you will get that opening and just go on a huge combo string that ends in an awesome finisher. Back in the day Killer Instinct was notorious for that, the lord of the molten queso was Cinder if you caught the person at the right part of the screen his flip kick could keep them suspended for damn near ever. You could get an ultra combo in the first round, and then a just under 100 hit ultra combo to end the match(unless there was a board with an edge they could fall off of, then once you walked them to the edge “bye bitch”). Street Fighter you could either fireball them to death or else catch them with one of the grab kings or queens(looks like Mika and Alex share that title this time, Zangief is still there but they look to be GRIP MASTERS).

And let’s not forget Mortal Kombat with either Smoke or Scorpion they would grab you, zip behind you for the upcut and grab you again, straight Limburger but again that is against HUMAN OPPONENTS. The machine somehow always has their BLOCK/COMBO BREAKER/IMPROBABLY GRAB at the muffukin ready. Especially if it’s a fucking boss fight whooooo. Oh how could I forget DoA, that fucking boos, man out of know where the super grab to unstoppable combo on that ass, you’d swear it just snuck up behind you took your clothes, lunch money, and first child all when you had the health bar at a mere sliver and your “muahahaha I am the lord of ….” speech at the ready, all about to do the big dick/clit dance on em. Tea Bags and Snail Trails all around, why because you “woooooo….. whoa WTF NO, NOOOOOO, you sloppy cunt”and don’t act like it’s just me, I watch you muffukas on twitch, yall rage quit on people, and cuss out the game. I will quit BETWEEN MATCHES not during, I’d rather play it out how else do you get better.

Shit sometimes it down to the wire, who threw that lucky grenade use the right gun, special, or ability to end the match? By the way, the fighting games I mentioned are not the cheesiest around, anybody who played Marvel vs Capcom can tell you about the “optic blast of you fucking bitch” I think 90% of the time once you got good at that game you just used cyclops to troll people, cause he had such a bad reputation. Honestly I prefered Sabertooth, that chokeslam and his combo gave you plenty of posing time, no I’m serious I’d be dancing along with his special move. People used to hate that shit, their character twitching in the air like a leaf, fuck em shouldn’t have gotten caught. Now yes, Cyclops ORIGINAL optic blast was kind of cheesy, I know Ryu players hated it because there was no canceling out, it went over and below their super fireball so FUCK YO COUCH. Now I know some people called it the Gay Ass Blast, mainly because again if you were of intermediate skill level Cyclops was annoying because that optic blast would get SPAMMED. And if you play against the computer forget it, somehow it’s special bar was always filled and OPTIC BLAST, there went your health bar.

Now some might say, “what about the games without a save point?” you was gone die anyway so if you gone have to start over start the fuck over. Besides once you get out of the 80’s almost every video game has a save feature, whether it’s the original save point of fantasy star, final fantasy and chrono trigger or the current quick save feature that everyone has employed in most rpg/dungeon crawlers. And as for MMORPG’s every see somebody just disappear mid fight, yup they turned off their system trying to cheat death. If they are lucky the creature despawned or left otherwise DEADSVILLE when you log back in but some will take the chance. Hell fallout 4 I just let myself die, I fight until they kill me, mainly because I will start over from the same damn spot anyway. I try to quicksave it right at the place where “I am about to try something stupid” and put in my tests, did you ever meet Boomer, I did, can I tell you how many times I caught a fucking touchdown smh. That is until I got that high powered MUZZLED sniper rifle, fuck you Boomer, I know some people are of the “Run up get done up” clan, I ain that guy, I have rifles, grenades, and machine guns, I don’t give two shits what level you are, if I can get to a good spot where you can’t see me I’m gonna pick you off from a distance. or else molotov, grenade, and mine you til you die.

Anyway, I was just kind of bored but I was playing a game that was annoying the shit out of me, having JUST the item it needed right when I was about to finish it off so yup RESET. Fuck I look like taking an unnecessary L just because you magically had all the shit to defend against what I was attacking you with, fuck outta here. lol


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