Might I suggest,a trade off?
As today is Inauguration day 2017, the republicans have complete control of the white house, Senate, house, and soon the Judiciary(since you know Republicans held on to the last seat for a good 6 months with hopes of a Republican President) it looks like many of the white Christian fundamentalist dreams of ending abortion are about to come to fruition. Oh yes it has been a long and arduous battle that they have finally seen through to the end, so since Abortion is most likely about to become illegal here are a few things that I feel should become mandatory once pregnancy and birth are no longer an option but now a commandment.
I mean I am sure if you have money, connections, and a few trusted advisers you could probably jet out of the country, party, get an abortion, and come home with no one being the wiser but I am talking about for those middle-middle class, to lower middle class, and poor folks. You know the people for the whom the choice is already backbreaking to slim, slim to none. I believe that ladies should have these guarantees in place once abortion is no longer an option.
Child Support is now Mandatory
Yup, I said it. If you dropped your kids off at the womb, they grew, she has now carried them the requisite 7 1/2 to 9 perfect months for fetus development you my dear sperm donor are taking into a hospital room/government reporting office for a DNA test AND the signing of your financial obligation to 18 years plus college or trade school. As well as an addendum to some of your assets upon death and retirement. Wait what, what am I talking about why simply put since normally as a man you can give a lady the dick and dash consequences be damned since she ain got no choice, neither do you. Pay up pimpin, you helped create a child you now have to pay for said child and yes COLA’s are mandatory and commensurate with how you living. And you don’t get to argue it down or complain, you knocked her up you provide financial compensation. None of this “hey why can’t me and shawty just work it out, why get the government involved” welp as the government is now policing her vagina, your pockets are on tap too.
If she doesn’t want the child you have to bring her a surrogate agreement
Let’s say all she wanted was the dick, not a familial obligation. Were you too cheap to buy a condom? Did you think it would be funny to leave her to raise a child on her own? Well now the jokes on you, yup we can make her carry one but now YOU have to take care of it once it’s here. The awesome red herring of “there are people who want kids out here every day, just put it up for adoption,” yeah have you not heard of the backlog in our foster care system. While there are families who can not have children who are looking for some, there aren’t so many people out there looking to adopt that they NEED you to provide children for them. Nope there are plenty of kids in foster care, who need families to adopt them, the system is already overflowing. Whether you don’t meet the financial requirements, the child they have available ain the child the folks want, the person changes their mind whatever, the whole “foster care/adoption” thing just burdens the rest of us with caring for a child who might never have a family or know what it means to be loved, SO DAD you have a new job to do.
No a woman can not hand you the child to incubate for 9 months, but she can damn sure hand them off do you once said incubation period is over with. All those “baby mama” jokes some of yall coming up with, yeah you about to be living them. See how you feel when those kids from those 3 or 4 girls you thought it was funny to know up last year come to your house talking about “welp, it wasn’t easy but here ya go here’s ya munchkin. Yeah here are a list of the allergies/sensitivities, here’s the number to the doctor who helped deliver them, oh and here is an application for Men Infants and Children( yes MIC for short now). Yall have a good life, don’t call me no more. And yes you can see me in court for child support” because yes she is now also financially obligated for half a child just no longer for providing housing, food, and transportation on a daily basis. I wonder if soccer dads would become a thing.
No more complaining about public services for children
Yup now that we are gonna have a lot more kids out here, we are going to have to start paying for more places to school them. For places to house them, for Day and Aftercare programs, and we are going to have to shift where we focus the majority of our monies. Nobody is gonna stop having sex, seriously there are like 8 billion people on this planet and depending on whether you put stock in religion or science we POSSIBLY started out with maybe with 2 to a couple hundred thousand back in the day. That is a SHITLOAD of FUCKING to get to one billion, let along damn near 8. So fucking is going to happen, especially since so many of us enjoy doing it. And if people who lack vaginas can tell people who have them what to do with them, those talky ass muffukas can start ponying up the dollars. Yeah this “I care about the fetus but once it’s born it’s your responsibility folks” no, it’s OUR RESPONSIBILITY. If a woman has no choice about what she can do with her body, we can’t complain about providing for the lives we FORCED to be created.
Yeah I am not with the shits, the hands and L’s you would catch if you even THOUGHT of telling me I had to carry a child for 9 months and have my dick ravaged for its birth. I’m not removing jewelry, ain putting on no vaseline, none of that shit, I am going to stomp a mud hole in your ass, walk it dry, remoisturize it and then stomp a new one all while explaining to you how you got me fucked up. Anal shoe removal would become the most popular service around, vasectomies would be free. Yall bitches don’t want to pay taxes now, but you gone put financial obligations on to people BIIIITCH, I don’t know who you thought I was. I’m not trying to experience a period let alone the pain of child-birth, and all the damage it does to your body after that. Have you lost all semblance of common sense?