When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

Salt Bae’s ignant ass cousin

Dear Hardees,

While I agree that SALT is a spice, normally it is used SPARINGLY in a dish. To draw out a dishes essence, what folks don’t do is drown something in salt, cook it, then store it in salt, and serve it. I don’t know if it was the preparers first day, or if they thought that they could be the next Salt Bae, or if they were going for a “dry rub” effect.

This is what I do know, that wasn’t Spicy Chicken tenders I got earlier, it was Spicy Salt. I don’t mean that it was KIND of salty, I mean that if it wasn’t for the fact that I topped off my drink BEFORE I left the restaurant then I would probably be a dried up snail on the side of the road. I enjoyed the DBZ movie Lord Slug, I wasn’t trying to become his pompous ass. And I damn sure wasn’t trying to die an ironic death, I just wanted some Spicy Chicken Tenders maybe add a little honey mustard. And the sad thing, once I washed the taste of SALT out of my mouth there was a decent amount of heat. I’m sure there is some chicken down their getting extremely well preserved for the long journey across the plains of “who the fuck taught this muffuka how to cook.” I figure this travesty HOPEFULLY comes down to a few factors

  1. The person who cooked my chicken is new, thus didn’t realize they were serving poison
  2. The person who prepared my food is quitting today and this was basically their “Fuck you” to the rest of the crew
  3. Somebody ACCIDENTALLY spilled the salt into the chicken and either told NO ONE or else just figured I would be gone(and they were right) before I bit into that nasty shit

I hope it was only because this was a newer Hardees(because Hardees food is USUALLY on point), or that somebody misread a recipe, or something as random as that and not that: this is somebody’s idea of some good spicy chicken and this is REALLY how it is supposed to taste. Bruh, yo chicken saltier than the seven seas. Yo Bruh, Lot’s wife took a bite and said this shit was salty. Yo fam, Mortons would like to talk to you about that delivery truck that got knocked over last week obviously you trying to get rid of the evidence too damn fast. Ahem, you do know people are trying to control or decrease blood pressure not SKY ROCKET IT, salt is to be sprinkled not SAND BLASTED, while yes you can salt encrust something BREAK THAT SHIT OFF BEFORE YOU SERVE IT. To say that I was in a foul ass mood after eating this is an understatement I had just endured a FORCED salt transplant. I was on some fuck everybody shit, and yes bitch I was salty why because have you tried that Hardees Spicy Chicken tenders? Nah, ask me after you do

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