When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

I think it’s time we stop saying Spider-man Homecoming flopped

And by we I mean of course the people who near the middle of July after the movie had only been out two weeks tried to pretend that Homecoming would not have legs due to an upcoming crowded field. And yet, just like Guardians Vol. 2 and Wonder Woman, in its second month of Release it has hit 300 million plus. Which would be more than BOTH of the Amazing Spider-man movies that Sony released on its own(neither made more than 265 million) were able to scare up. Now no it has not yet  caught up to the ORIGINAL Spider-man run with Maguire and Raimi but it also cost less than all of them to make.

I get it though, as usual people wanted to run out in front. It premiered better than the last two movies(at 117 million. Which Killed ASM by almost its full opening night, and had ASM2 but 20 million) but as it was a packed month with a few other movies coming up in August people wanted to spell doom and gloom. But this movie was going to make 300 million. and 330 to 350 million isn’t completely out of the realm of possibilities either. Did it slow down, yes is there as much competition now as there was saaaaay at the end of July? No. Quite a few movies have come out, either not done as well as expected or else tailed off just as quickly and when you think of movies you want to see again Spider-man stuck close enough to the source material that I can see folks wanting to check out subtle clues they missed. It’s been over a month, yes my review is way late but to put it simply, Marvel Studios threw a “fuck Peter Parker, Cause Stan Lee says so” in there. It was so meta and awesome, because honestly though he is there most famous character, he is also their most famously FUCKED character. 

You make over 125 million more than they spent to produce you and you will get a sequel(just ask Guardians of the Galaxy), if he can pick up another 41 million he will double his production budget which is a success for ANYBODY running a studio. And if you can make 200 million more than it took to produce you, you become legend AKA Deadpool. And let’s be clear the reason so many movies have not done as well as expected lately is NOT Super hero fatigue. That isn’t what doomed Batman v Superman which yes made money, but nowhere near as much as what was expected.

That was Zack Snyder, he didn’t understand half of his bill, and even in Justice League it’s like “WTF do you mean a world without Hope? Wonder Woman is sitting right there!” Because if ANYBODY was hope in that Movie it was Diana of Themascyra. She showed up and you THOUGHT there was a chance that shit would be okay. She leapt into battle silencing us Naysayers(yes US I was not too thrilled about Gal Gadot playing Wonder Woman, I felt she was too slight. But she did the role justice) and bringing fierce and fearless to the screen. And THEN in her SOLO movie (even if they went with the LESS popular Demigod Origin, it’s been two months eat SEVERAL dicks if that is a spoiler to you, you were never going to watch it anyway) she showed us someone who while Naive and well-meaning NEVER shirked her duty as a protector of this world. Diana went against her mother’s wishes, entered Man’s world KNOWING she could not return home, with a strange man, into a time and place that she was an outsider(no matter how strong). She ALMOST had her faith crushed when it was APPARENT that Parliament was neither willing nor INTELLIGENT enough to send her to the front. She pushed on though, She INSPIRED the men around her, and when she met with adversity at the first sign of possible failure she didn’t give up SHE FOUGHT ON. Now, to be fair, she killed a SHITLOAD of Nazis and I give Man of Steel grief for killing one guy BUT WONDER WOMAN KILLS, Superman does not. Suicide Squad made 5 million LESS than Batman v Superman and the only characters people REALLY knew or gave a fuck about(Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and the Joker) a third of which folks were pissed he was even in the movie(IE Jared Leto’s extremely crazy Joker. MY jury is still out on him, he was in the movie just enough to intrigue not enough to wear out his welcome).

The hate campaigns were damn near endless when people saw Leto’s rendition,

  • No I am not found of the Grills
  • The Tatts are possibly acceptable if I see him as in his 40’s not his 70’s
  • His almost Disdain for Harley was Spot on, getting her to jump into the acid bath not so much.
  • He had the intelligence, he had the Nihilism, I will have to rewatch to see if he was EVER jealous of anyway flirting with his Harley.
  • His wardrobe was underwhelming. I think the joker was always dressed to the nines because while an insane killer he wanted to be taken seriously.

Now, for the last one actually I can blame “The BATMAN” for that they turned him into a bigfooted, shoeless, Mutation so he was a little more ragged in that. I appreciate the connection they were trying to create with have Harleen Quinzell decide to jump in the Acid to be like her Love but her cartoon Joker would have either pushed her or else left her how she was. Their relationship was complicated but he liked that while she was warped and twisted, it was just her mind a choice she happily made and not an irreversible transformation.


2 responses

  1. I’m not up to speed on super heroes, so a lot of this really fascinated me. Tell you this, though – I was born & raised on Superman. First, the comics. Then the TV show which started out in black and white; didn’t need color; you knew the fucking colors; you even knew how red Perry White’s face was when he got pissed at Jimmy Olsen. At the time, Superman was the best fucking show on TV and as far as I am concerned, the single BEST version of Superman ever! Better than all of the movies.
    As kids we were addicted. Never missed an episode.
    So when it comes to Batman, SpiderMan and all of these new “SuperHero” types, I still believe they can’t play on the same field with the original Superman. George. Not any of the wannabes that came after him, even if the same last name. George WAS Superman and Superman will always be the greatest living SuperHero. . .In Gotham City or anywhere else.
    🔴🔵Faster than a speeding bullet
    🔴🔵Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
    🔴🔵More powerful than a steaming locomotive
    All of which has practically nothing to do with your article but I just wanted to get this off my chest.

    08/18/2017 at 1:55 PM

    • Actually it does. You have an image of a hero that was well established, clearly defined, and not muddy. That is most people problems with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman.

      I also think it is why despite the media attempts people like Spider-man Homecoming. Peter Parker is a kid trying to make it in a crazy world and just happened to get Super Powers. Thing is once he got them things didn’t go great it was one tragedy after another and he has had to do a LOT of growing up. All while trying to save a world that doesn’t always appreciate him. That is the Spider-man I grew up on. I saw the Reruns of your Superman I didn’t need the colors. I just needed old George standing there like NOTHING could touch him and he was going to make everything all right.

      08/19/2017 at 2:50 PM

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