When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

around Memphis

When your kids are awesome but you with the shits


So round about March as we were planning for a June birthday I asked a simple question: Eagles Superbowl Ring OR Satellite radio. The choice was Satellite radio, so a plan was hatched.

  1. Find out how hard it is it to get an SiriusXm ready radio to be SiriusXm radio
  2. IF it ain easy, how much is it gonna cost
  3. if it isn’t wildly expensive, how long is it gonna take
  4. and can they do it at the store I was trying to buy it from

So yeah, with that plan I went up to my local Geek Squad house and hit them up for some prices. For what it required it was around 500 bucks and could be done in a few hours once the parts came in (more…)

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The first official “shiny head” day of 2017


Eikichi is a dick, yes this is the only way this post can begin. Way back in 07 or 08 when I just got back from Atlanta, pre marital collapse, I returned of course with much shorter hair. When I left in 06 I had past my shoulder locks and when I came back I basically had a low easily maintained fro. The problem with the easily maintained fro was of course it wasn’t my locks, and I didn’t want to go through the relocating process again. So after a good year of letting it grow out, looking scruffy as hell and then trimming it back I had a “fuck it” day.

Now I don’t remember how close to eye patch week “fuck it” day was but I know I grabbed some clippers, went to a mirror and shaved every inch off the top of my head. Now everyone else had a normal reaction: nice cut, you look good, that’s different but no, not Eikichi his ass screams out “Señor Shiny Head”because he’s a 5’8 3/4” DICK and has for the most part screamed it out every mid to late March ever since because that’s about the time of year when I finally shave my head because the weather is warm enough for me to no longer worry about “head colds.”  (more…)


Bathing should be fucking mandatory


Or the funk of 50,000 years. Actually I don’t know what the funk of 50k years smells like, but who ever was present the olfactory enjoyment of:Cheetos, funyuns, corn chips, stale feet, and 4 day old draws needs to be ashamed of themselves. Like I get it, it’s an off day, maybe you want to run a few QUICK errands and then get back to the crib, maybe you ain planning to be gone for more than 10 or 15 minutes I get that and I myself have been there. My thing is, once I get past 20 minutes I am taking my ass home and hopping in the shower if I plan to leave the house again, why you might ask?

Because grown people funk is on some OTHER SHIT, our sweat glands are grown. They ain rookies no more with their unexpected funk, untested funk, oh no grown people funk understands marination and saturation, wind patterns, intensity, and diversification. Young funk is usually arm pits or feet, like they forgot the deodorant or to spray their shoes, maybe this is the first time those NEW/DEVELOPING areas have decided to sweat. But not grown folks, oh no from the crack of your ass to the back of your ears, each individual toe, the bottoms of you feet, the corners of your thighs. Your body has been through some shit, it’s got war stories, and each and every corner of your being wants to tell that shit, maybe audibly but usually odoriferously and it likes to take it’s time. It wants to challenge mustard gas for potency, like a bad guy trying to off the hero in a movie it is going to slowly sneak up to you, growing tendrils, ensnaring you and then finally when you don’t realize that you have been surrounded in a tear inducing must, it pounces. (more…)


Primal on Beale


 

The title is a play on one of Beale’s famous BBQ restaurants the Pig, winds picking up, the afternoon is getting late and I’m out here after finding out that the problems down here AIN my fault, but are still on going. From my seat here not far from the corner I can see the FED EX Forum, the old Hard Rock(they flipped ends of the street), Dyers, Silky O’Sullivans, Wet Willies, and Alfred’s. Yes I am really on Beale I’ll take pics shortly to prove it. I ate a late breakfast so I’m not eating down here today, because two days of the Itis is not the move.

I’ll post pics of my 1/3 bourbon burger

later, not assembled that is just decadent. This is not the place to come if you are on a diet, the food is delicious, the drinks are plentiful, they have a place that sells fried pies(give me those weird looks if you want, when you’ve eaten five of them don’t tell me I didn’t warn you),
(more…)


So I can kick out serious dough for a laptop but I got to steal an ipod mini/nano


To say I’m steaming is an understatement, I could probably do this on Blogger because you know I’m pissed, highly pissed but I could probably write this without a single cuss word, but you know what I’m thinking

FUCK THAT

Bitch the fact that we continue to provide you with tech support despite your shady ass ways, that you DARE to accuse me of theft. Motherfucker I don’t own ishit for a reason, I really don’t need it, would it be nice sure. I mean I guess I’m not a true tech snob until I own an isomething but right now if i want to listen to music I have my Blackberry with an 8gb Microsd card in it. I have yet to fill it up, so if I still have room for more music on my phone(and videos, pictures, ringtones, whatever the fuck I want) why would I steal an ipod, especially an ipod mini/nano they are under 200 bucks. I could go BUY ONE if I was so inclined to have one. Why steal yours, you know the one that belongs to your kids that has been on your desk in your office for a month. Shit I’m saying all the sudden a month LATER your kids are calling for it? You mean to tell me that for whatever reason they were being punished for it that TODAY, when I tell your ass hell the fuck no on some bullshit, they are calling you for it? (more…)


Does Primaldata Look like a Bitch


As I use this blog to say it how I want to say it when being nice just ain good enough I’ll recount my ‘U.N.I.T.Y’ moment better known as “Who you callin a BITCH”

It was a late afternoon and it was about time for me to get off from work and a customer asked me to go to his store and set his Geovision system up to be visible from the internet and his phone, after settling on a price I went over to his store and got ready to speak to the men behind the counter. Problem number one:I notice the Darker Skinned male of Indian decent looks familiar. And I don’t mean oh they all look alike familiar I mean “muffuka ain you the one from the store down the street who was playing games when it came to the money the last time”, and as if to show me just how dumb he thinks I am he plays the exact same game he used to play at the other store, “Excuse me, here to work on the what? Where are you from? Are you sure the Boss called you?” I tell him to call his boss and ask if I was expected, after the other cashier got confirmation that I was supposed to be there my swarthy friend decided he was going to fool with me a little bit. I told him the price “okay we will give you 15 dollars,” and opens the door for me to enter, I back away from the door and reitterate my fee, than he adds 10 whole dollars to sweeten the pot for me and says “okay 25, but you better do a good job.” Time is money and personally if you’re going to jerk my dick while the hair length was okay I prefer that you don’t have any on your upper lip and that you were born with a vagina and that puberty blessed you with a nice full pair of boobs, but that’s just me. (more…)


The face of exhaustion


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I guess because we got to the family reunion late as fuck sunday for leftovers(family tradition food left from saturdays events is served sunday) it was decided that I would barbecue again yesterday. No chicken, as that’s what I slaved over in 100 degree heat on saturday and didn’t get any of the spicier fair, just some burgers, hot dogs and Circle B  mini smoked sausage. While I have plenty of pictures from saturday, monday I just couldn’t keep pulling out the cameras. I was pooped.

All in all the reunion was pretty good, only made one event this year, but between work, my sister being in the hospital and a severe lack of good sleep one event is good.  I also ended up working Sunday and Monday so that added to my less than chipper demeanor. Saw a few imagefireworks driving to the movies on Monday night, granted you can read about the movie fiasco on blogspot, it’s one of those “make you go hmmmmm” moments but it was a fun holiday none the less. I need to start dedicating time for writing and sketching practice in the future dunno how but its a goal.

By the way any topic, thread, or post is open to discussion, debate or suggestion so speak up


From the Primal files:filed under oh my fucking god REALLY


Holy Popshot batman

Understand if I find out who this is don't even reach for my hand

This shit right here nigga, this shit right here was like what the fuck. The NPH scene in Harold and Kumar go to white castle came to mind except: I didn’t get the “I left some love juices in the backseat” warning. I mean who does that? Seriously where dey do that at #wtdta just hand somebody a laptop with BLATANT evidence that you and Mary have a nightly engagement, and I ain talking bout mary jane either.

FUCKER, I was so glad I didn’t have to return his shit to him. Who doesn’t clean their screen after a knuckle shuffle session? Especially if its fucked off and you need it fixed. And no, this dude would NEVER get a handshake from me if I knew he was tied to that laptop. Because the depths of your nasty fucktitude is like WHOA! I can’t even imagine sending somebody clothing to be dry cleaning without being a little shame faced if I was giving them the “love juice” special. Because MOST of us have had sex, we’ve all seen dried semen before so its not like I’m gonna see the splatter pattern and be like “oh I wonder what this splattered sticky substance is, oh the hijinx that must have ensued”, no I’m gonna say “you nasty fuck clean your screen bitch”, okay my moment is over.

But yeah I get weird shit like this sometimes. Weird, fucked or gross


Dreary, gloomy, rainy fall day


I’m just sitting outside after a battery pull and this is what I see outside my door. The rain isn’t coming down as hard as it was earlier so its kind of making the trees look teary, and the skys bland and desolate a blank gray slate.

Days like this it seems like the world has taken a huge bottle of “Fuckitall” and is chuckin us the deuces til tomorrow. Its not overly cold(high 50′ low 60’s), its a monday so its not like people were in some “yay today is gonna be an awesome day” mood. The weekend is never long enough and a holiday weekend is even worse. You get more time to get used to the feeling of your warm bed and soft pillow and then here comes “Monday” wit its ol hatin ass. I mean I’m sure Monday wants to tell us to get off its ass. Its who it is, its not Monday’s fault we made it the start to our week, that everything begins with monday shit I’m sure it slaps thursday and friday in the head every chance it gets.

Thursday sometimes gets to be friday, the last work day of the week. Folks just out chillin, enjoying family, friends, lovers. And friday, that lazy fucker

like everybody else the second it gets past like 3 o’clock friday is rushing to get out the door too to start the weekend. Always hanging out with saturday and sunday. By the time friday gets done with sunday its all worn out and business like, it doesn’t have a smile or a kind word for poor Monday its just pure worn the fuck out.

But hey, you are who you are so Monday must live out its lot in life. Me I’m having equipment issues I swear computers are more temperamental than 2 year olds. Always complaining making mountains out of dust mites. The second it feels you might want to get done quickly its got “the list”. What’s the list? Its a list of shit that will probably be wrong with it, slowly it down or freezing it up that you will have to figure out.

Oh well shit happens, scans running day mostly over just gotta leg it out