When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

The Primal Files

I’m curious, is The Hangover to some new classic?


Every once in a while I look through my stats and the most looked at post is the review for “the Hangover 2”, now it may be the provocative title “it’s called Bangkok not Bangcunt Honey” which is a hilarious one liner from the movie. I forget the character’s name but he’s the ACTOR who is playing a Dentist(not the Dentist Turned actor) who finds out he enjoyed ALL that Thailand had to offer in evening fun.

Sometimes when I do a review if a line sticks out to me or a description I use it as the title. Since “the Hangover” is a series of movies dealing with the aftermath of having too much fun with your friends during a night out. All fiction supposedly but extremely hilarious, plus you get Mike Tyson punching somebody. Now why did I post the movie (more…)


Hey what do you know, little to no spam


Yes, it has been another writing hiatus. No I don’t know why. I just get like that sometimes and NO it isn’t tied to my beloved eagles hovering around the .500 mark. As one of my favorite Christmas presents says Philadelphia WORLD Champions. I don’t care we still the champs. If I get in a rut I get in a rut, time constraints, ideas flittering out, and the craziness that is the world in 2018 really didn’t inspire much key tapping. I mainly came over here to look for spam and I didn’t really see any. So hey thanks all for not junking up my blog

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Enjoy your holidays and I don’t know what I will do between now in the new year besides game. If you want to see me stream (on my Xbox, haven’t bought Spider-man yet so the PS4 is DUUUS TAAAAAAAAY) Twitch and Mixer. I have added a few more videos to my YouTube channel but nowhere near enough, I need to be more diligent about going back and capturing footage if I recorded or bookmarked it. And I also need to start recording Battlefield footage(which I have yet to do) the other nights stream especially) to all Christmas newbs it ain personal, we ALL have to take our licks when we start out in the game. Don’t rage get better and get us back. As you can see I am getting a LITTLE BETTER at adding in some of my internal links. SOME not all.


Electronic Arts, yes we REALLY showed you RTS gameplay BEFORE the hype trailer


This really says it all about EA’s conference. Way too much talking, and they showed a FUCKING RTS gameplay moment before the trailer. Seriously Nobody gives a fuck about a MOBILE RTS GAME. I was dumbstruck when I saw that, my internet decided to die at EXACTLY that moment. Like “I’m giving you bandwidth for THIS SHIT, Fuck outta here” and honestly, I really can’t blame it. They LITERALLY showed a quick RTS match, like I was gonna run them my money right then and there.

THEN they showed this awesome trailer with smooth graphics and all kinds of character awesomeness THAT DOESN’T EXIST IN GAME. Now seriously, I woke up late for this conference(but not by much it seems) so I missed all the pregame, I didn’t see all the information on the first game showcased (Battlefield V) and I heard that there was a big to-do about the Microsoft E3 showcase tomorrow HOPEFULLY Microsoft doesn’t put me to sleep. (more…)


Let’s be honest I sucked balls covering E3 last year


I started out strong, EA was okay, Microsoft was cool and then SONY drained the ever loving shit out of me and of course Bathesda was like “hahahaha, Thanks for the MONEY” which technically they DID make all the dough with Fallout 4 but they could have showed us a little more. Welp This year is gonna be a struggle too, I DID take the day off from work but forgot to check and see when EA started so I have to go back and watch it from the beginning but I will TRY and cover E3 better this year(We shall see though).

What I have caught so far is Battlefield 5 another ancient ass war, so blah. I saw some of Fifa, I haven’t played a fifa game in fuck ever. I saw some of the Information about the NEW Star Wars game(Jedi Fallen Order) as well as the confirmation of all the stuff people have been saying was going to come out for Star Wars Battlefront 2 towards the end of the year: Dooku, Grievous, Anakin, and Obiwan. If you don’t know, I fucks shit up in space so me and Star Wars Battlefront 2 are like THIS. Things they are adding: A new Dog fight mode with the hero ships, Geonosha, A new squad mode where you can take down capital ships. This is off memory so I know I am missing stuff so on the rewatch I will get into details. (more…)


When your kids are awesome but you with the shits


So round about March as we were planning for a June birthday I asked a simple question: Eagles Superbowl Ring OR Satellite radio. The choice was Satellite radio, so a plan was hatched.

  1. Find out how hard it is it to get an SiriusXm ready radio to be SiriusXm radio
  2. IF it ain easy, how much is it gonna cost
  3. if it isn’t wildly expensive, how long is it gonna take
  4. and can they do it at the store I was trying to buy it from

So yeah, with that plan I went up to my local Geek Squad house and hit them up for some prices. For what it required it was around 500 bucks and could be done in a few hours once the parts came in (more…)


Today was an “awesome” day(4/26/17) Throwback Thursday


Yes, I put awesome in air quotes. It’s not that the day was completely terrible nor was it completely great it was all over the place. The start was crazy, I overslept. Then it turned to the weird, then it got back on the good foot and now I am in geek heaven.

My nephew was here over the weekend(plus Monday) and his relationship with sleep was like a coin flip 2 days he slept, 2 days you could swear he was the spokesman for no doz. You put a movie on to get him to sleep(usually Dory, or Dooor Weee) and he laughs, giggles, rolls around, and pounces on you through the whole thing. “Wait, you trying to get him to sleep why were you there for him to pounce on?” Because he kept acting like he wanted somebody to lay there at the foot of the bed so he could sleep in a new room(made up a guest room for him, decked out in yup you guessed it Dory and Nemo). He would walk up to my door, open it, look in, play around in the bathroom water. So if you lay at the foot of the bed he was more inclined to stay in it(not to sleep just stay in the room). Now 2 nights he was up past 2 am, why because he felt like it. 2 nights he went to bed between 10 and 11:30 pm. Dealers choice, granted the dealer ALSO stopped up my bathroom sink but hey shit was fun Unc why you hating. (more…)


Things will be a little busier over here


I am trying to set up the 500th post for my Blogspot  I want it to be something spectacular(IE I am really about to be fucking stalled), so of course I can’t post anything else there until I get done. MY current plan is to maybe discuss the journey it took to get there(since it is 500 over there not here. I think we are still sub buck forty but we are getting close), maybe revisit my first post on blogger/blogspot, check and see what my hundredth and 250th posts looked like and how I have evolved as a writer over that time. Not to say that it was some fabulous journey I think most who read my writing will say that it is conversational and relaxed. The FEW TIMES that I have tried to do something in a more rigid fashion I always seem to mosey back to sitting right next to you and just sharing if not a few laughs a few anecdotes.

I think as a writer that is who I am and who I will always be. I find tips and tricks here to add some pop to what I am writing, sometimes there is floating text, a little inside joke if you will(not in this post yet, I promise), I finally got the pagination code that you see me use here a lot(I am not perfect with it yet. I actually haven’t used it as often as I would like to), it is completely different on here it is <!– —nextpage– > (remove the spaces of course) while you are in HTML mode(for my fellow wordpressers who are afraid that they are creating a wall of text and wish to break it into bite size pages). I will relook up (more…)


I think it’s time we stop saying Spider-man Homecoming flopped


And by we I mean of course the people who near the middle of July after the movie had only been out two weeks tried to pretend that Homecoming would not have legs due to an upcoming crowded field. And yet, just like Guardians Vol. 2 and Wonder Woman, in its second month of Release it has hit 300 million plus. Which would be more than BOTH of the Amazing Spider-man movies that Sony released on its own(neither made more than 265 million) were able to scare up. Now no it has not yet  caught up to the ORIGINAL Spider-man run with Maguire and Raimi but it also cost less than all of them to make.

I get it though, as usual people wanted to run out in front. It premiered better than the last two movies(at 117 million. Which Killed ASM by almost its full opening night, and had ASM2 but 20 million) but as it was a packed month with a few other movies coming up in August people wanted to spell doom and gloom. But this movie was going to make 300 million. and 330 to 350 million isn’t completely out of the realm of possibilities either. Did it slow down, yes is there as much competition now as there was saaaaay at the end of July? No. Quite a few movies have come out, either not done as well as expected or else tailed off just as quickly and when you think of movies you want to see again Spider-man stuck close enough to the source material that I can see folks wanting to check out subtle clues they missed. It’s been over a month, yes my review is way late but to put it simply, Marvel Studios threw a “fuck Peter Parker, Cause Stan Lee says so” in there. It was so meta and awesome, because honestly though he is there most famous character, he is also their most famously FUCKED character.  (more…)


Primal, the ultimate asshole


Now let me preface tis by saying, I am no stranger to being called an asshole. Hell when it comes to videos games I am no stranger to being publicly called an asshole or shouted out as an asshole. I remember the old “glitch” or was it a feature in Killer Instinct where as Cinder you could basically double back flip someone into eternity, catch they ass with a pop up combo, and tha thump tha thump their ass until their first health bar was gone. Then catch them in a pop up combo on their final energy bar and only let them down to ultra combo that ass and THEN catch them for the extra 50 hits. Oh wait let’s not forget the famous “All you do is play rainbow 6 and watch the 40 year old virgin all day” incident. Which yes, ALL that shit was true. When he seemed enraged that I had NEVER seen the 40 year old virgin, which he though was a great movie I PREVENTED the next round from starting for 20 minutes just to make sure he and ALL OF HIS TEAM MATES knew just how big of a bitch he was for calling me out for not doing that which he actually did.

While STILL sucking at Rainbow 6, I believe it was Vegas at the time. Now TECHNICALLY I am an asshole for some shit I did last night, but let me say this while I am gaming UNLESS you are on my friends list I am NOT going to stop gaming because you just so happen to shoot me a message so that I can read it, and then respond to you in a timely fashion. We’ll get into more details after the jump (more…)


Primaldata CASUAL Gamer


I have been called MANY things in my life, a casual gamer has never been one of them. Let’s keep it real I have never really been a big podcast fan mainly because I am either gaming, watching sports, reading, watching movies, watching my shows on TV, or just goofing around on the internet and NOT blogging(cause yeah I can’t even use writing posts like this as an excuse) so for somebody to tell me that I am a CASUAL Gamer because my Trophy level on PSN is only level 7 (smh, when you can’t even tell a 6 from a 7 you have issues my dude) is a little shocking. I have like 18k Gamerscore on Xbox and level 7 on playstation(which trust me takes a few hundred trophies which for a guy who MOSTLY enjoys multiplayer games is nothing to sneeze at) okay wait I am getting ahead of myself.

I was catching the Xbox nation podcast tonight(which was a miracle since youtube has been sucking at sending alerts lately and Youtube Gaming sucked at showing me the start of the podcast) because I enjoy some of the hosts gaming videos MAINLY about Xbox of which I am MOSTLY a Convert, when Xbox live dropped my heart was stolen forever blu ray got me to give Sony some love for 5 years, so of course I want to hear news about my preferred console. As usual there were a few Sony Die hard fans in the chat(also known as Pony’s since it rhymes just go with the sophomoric humor) and while some of them really do want to talk about games, even if it is in a trolly fashion others come in to SWEAR we are all liars. Which is always hilarious, like “wow you are calling me a liar for saying I like something, as if you could PROVE somehow that I don’t like what I claim is this thing I spent money on and are possibly CONTINUING to spend money on.” (more…)


It’s April Fools Day


That means 90% of all pregnancy announcements BULLSHIT.

That “oh I always loved you, why didn’t we ever date” message from that got girl/guy will be posted on twitter, instagram, tumblr or facebook with a bunch of crying emojis at your soft, loving, and romantic response as they use you as clickbait.

Somebody is going to die today, but unless you find out tomorrow, that muffuka gone be bumming a smoke off you in the morning.

Trump Didn’t Get impeached

Nobody has incontrovertible proof that Obama was actually born in Kenya

No that is not an ACTUAL picture of Hillary Clinton’s horns

Elvis is still dead

So is Tupac

And David Bowie

No the Aliens are not here to rescue the people who know Klingon, or Wookie, or Huttese.

That magic pill will not make your dick plump up like a ball park frank and become a footlong

It won’t give you double D’s or the fattest ass either

Whatever hot trailer somebody sent you today, it’s a Rick Roll

And yes, today Rick WILL give you up, and will DAMN SURE let you down.

He already deserted you

No your ex really doesn’t want forgiveness

No I am not admitting to a damn thing, I don’t give a fuck if you have me on video.

Munchkins still ain talking to me, but they will happily steal my drink

and fuck up my name

and try to get me to make mean faces

and walk off with my damn phone “yo, get back here”

No your siblings will NOT remember all the dough they borrowed, til later, when they got you, nah really they got you

I swear I bet if we look up most of the honor duels in history they were like in the first week of April, cause I could see back in the day when you COULDN’T easily find out that somebody was yanking your chain that you wanted to stab they ass. Fuck squaring up bitch, I got you 10 paces at dawn Friday. Draw your sword muffuka, for even WASTING whatever time left before I invariably catch the plague I will END YOU, and probably go fuck your wife, again, cause that WASN’T an April Fools. Bitch ass. I don’t even want to answer my phone or text messages today cause I know most of the people I talk to THINK they funny(they not) and gone do the most, making me want to strangle them and waste bail money. Choking them would have been worth it, but bail afterwards nah.

So pay attention to your surroundings, if you see somebody in a clown outfit run. Like nothing good can come out of meeting up with a clown on April Fool’s day, seriously that is like the ultimate “X figured out the exact moment, when They fucked up!!!” like what is the BEST thing that can happen, the clown just wants a goofy ass selfie. The worst that can happen, fam, it’s a clown, on the national holiday of pranks they have been training for this. Stanky cream pies, nut shots, Ink Flowers, whoopie cushions, hand buzzers, and that is just the TIP of the rusty dick you will probably get fucked with. NO CLOWNS, I don’t mind them on a normal day but today you will catch these hands.


Obviously one does not just Dare Arby’s


Dear Arby’s

The Fuck Is THIS! No, no this is a valid question to ask. I mean we ain even gone get to the fact that they have the words NUTRITIONAL and INFORMATION at the bottom of this picture no no, that is to be tabled to a later discussion. I asked, and the Lady behind the counter said, “the sandwich has EVERY MEAT WE SERVE on it.” Not that I was thinking of ordering it, my affairs aren’t in order, and I personally don’t want to die 5 minutes after eating it nor do I feel like eating salad for the next 6 weeks to get all of that meat out of my body. I mean let’s look at this ignorant shit you have:

  1. Pepper Bacon(of course it starts with bacon, all cakes must be iced)
  2. Roast Beef(cause it’s Arby’s it’s their thing)
  3. Cheddar Cheese
  4. Angus Beef(cause they want this to be a good and flavorful death)
  5. Smoked Brisket
  6. Pit Smoked Ham(I think they believe smoke is a food group
  7. Swiss Cheese(technically at this point we are at Dagwood Level)
  8. Roast Turkey(cause yes both Turkey AND BEEF can be roasted
  9. Chicken Tenders(because if the only thing fried/greasy on this sandwich was bacon they FAILED as sandwich creators *shrug*)
  10. A Star Cut Bun(to solidify locking your bowels up)

This sandwich is served with a BACKHAND from your cardiologist. Your nutritionist will judge you for 6 months after eating this sandwich. This Sandwich looks like they were dared to put a Subway footlong on a Kaiser/Burger Roll. This sandwich looks like Punishment for coming in last at the strongman competition, “there is not enough meat in your system, we must add more meat to make your stronger!” This sandwich looks like it comes with a waiver you must sign to guarantee that you were of good health before you ate the sandwich and that you death within a week of consumption is in no way Arby’s fault. (more…)


It’s about damn time Sony


FINALLY PLAYSTATION HAS COME INTO THE EXTERNAL STORAGE GENERATION! 

Yes it has to be said like that, it has been a sticking point since the middle of the extended console generation of the Xbox 360 and the PS3, Sony has been dicking around with allowing you to use external hard drives to save your games(not you save files but the games themselves) and transport them around. It was actually one of the BIGGEST role reversals in the last two console generations, with the PS3 Sony was DRM’d down and as horror stories came out about it folks were flocking to the Xbox 360 for the free gaming experience and the lack of hardline when it came to whether or not you could buy, sell, or rent the games. Unfortunately when it came to the Xbox one Microsoft jumped too far with the “always on, always connected to the internet” rhetoric when it came to the Xbox one. You had to have the camera(which they had an understandable reason for, it wasn’t explained well) and so was them wanting you to always be connected to the internet(for constant software updates) once again their messenger SUCKED.

The one thing that they DID present correctly was the ability to buy external storage to boost your Xbox One from 500 GB internal(which was what most of the initial consoles of both companies shipped with) to 500 internal plus whatever size external drive was available at the time. In 2013 that would most likely have been a 1 tb, which at the time would have been pretty good for an external drive, and I’m sure if you had an arm or leg to spare you might even find a 2 tb or maybe a 3 tb of the storage with it’s own power source. (more…)


Salt Bae’s ignant ass cousin


Dear Hardees,

While I agree that SALT is a spice, normally it is used SPARINGLY in a dish. To draw out a dishes essence, what folks don’t do is drown something in salt, cook it, then store it in salt, and serve it. I don’t know if it was the preparers first day, or if they thought that they could be the next Salt Bae, or if they were going for a “dry rub” effect.

This is what I do know, that wasn’t Spicy Chicken tenders I got earlier, it was Spicy Salt. I don’t mean that it was KIND of salty, I mean that if it wasn’t for the fact that I topped off my drink BEFORE I left the restaurant then I would probably be a dried up snail on the side of the road. I enjoyed the DBZ movie Lord Slug, I wasn’t trying to become his pompous ass. And I damn sure wasn’t trying to die an ironic death, I just wanted some Spicy Chicken Tenders maybe add a little honey mustard. And the sad thing, once I washed the taste of SALT out of my mouth there was a decent amount of heat. I’m sure there is some chicken down their getting extremely well preserved for the long journey across the plains of “who the fuck taught this muffuka how to cook.” I figure this travesty HOPEFULLY comes down to a few factors (more…)


The first official “shiny head” day of 2017


Eikichi is a dick, yes this is the only way this post can begin. Way back in 07 or 08 when I just got back from Atlanta, pre marital collapse, I returned of course with much shorter hair. When I left in 06 I had past my shoulder locks and when I came back I basically had a low easily maintained fro. The problem with the easily maintained fro was of course it wasn’t my locks, and I didn’t want to go through the relocating process again. So after a good year of letting it grow out, looking scruffy as hell and then trimming it back I had a “fuck it” day.

Now I don’t remember how close to eye patch week “fuck it” day was but I know I grabbed some clippers, went to a mirror and shaved every inch off the top of my head. Now everyone else had a normal reaction: nice cut, you look good, that’s different but no, not Eikichi his ass screams out “Señor Shiny Head”because he’s a 5’8 3/4” DICK and has for the most part screamed it out every mid to late March ever since because that’s about the time of year when I finally shave my head because the weather is warm enough for me to no longer worry about “head colds.”  (more…)


Primal’s “Are you gone eat yo Cornbread” moment


It’s been a shitty day, the ending of which soared the the very top of Shit Mountain, planted a flag, and yodeled in victory. But, I don’t want to talk about that, I still have to decompress. What I will talk about is LUNCH, yes we went to lunch today around 12 pm. Wasn’t nothing special about lunch, just went to McDonald’s ordered a Grand Mac combo, Medium, Spotted Eikichi, got my cup and tried to walk away and then, it happened.

Now understand, people asking you for shit FRESH out the line in Mickey D’s ain new.

  1. Hey man can I get a quarter
  2. Hey Big man can ya spot me
  3. You got any change
  4. Could you buy me
  5. hey can I have some of your

People infringing on your meal time peace of mind is so expected most of us either ignore them out of hand, give them a polite no, or an extremely stern fuck off. But that’s when you hear NORMAL REQUESTS, and I am sure plenty of shit can be added the to five I have up there. But this shit was new (more…)


It’s movie review writing day


Yup, when I get off from work today I have to write the review for John Wick Chapter 2. I’ll start it on blogspot and decide when I get halfway through whether or not it should stay there or come over here. John Wick is an R rated movie, with a lot of cursing, State Birds, blood, gore, death, pain, a slight bit of comedy, and a deep sense of (invented) tradition. I actually have a few titles for it in mind, which is always fun because do I want to be silly with it, do I want to take it out of context or be direct.

Honestly Eikichi is being weird because he is complaining John Wick 2 is too much like Commando, like dude Commando is part of the Royalty of 80’s movies thou shalt not disparage awesome 80’s action movies the fuck? Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Vernon Wells, Bill Duke, and a young Alyssa Milano how can you act like there is anything wrong with that movie. Lots of explosions, bullets, one liners, and crazy stunts. It’s a joke now but the 80’s invented the “cool guys don’t look at explosions” phenomena. Yeah, so it’s been two days whatever remains of the movie remains THE ESSENCE if you will. Not because I have a terrible memory, but because I watch other things on TV, have a job, and of course I’m planning out my next movie foray whether or not you like a movie depends on how fondly you remember it through the noise of a million other distractions(or at least that’s how I feel), some you love, some you hate, but if you barely remember it well it really couldn’t have been that good now could it.

Anyway enough word salad, I hope everyone has a great Tuesday and for the lovers out there: Lick it before you stick it, lube is your friend, and you can be a little cheeky if you are being freaky but always remember and respect the “safe word”


The day that will live in Infamy


Today is Eikichi’s birthday, my youngest brother The Original Brat, Captain “c’mon just buy me, I got you back later“, as well as the Lord of “what you watch or play is lame” only to be playing some archaic ass game that has a convoluted ass plot or watching some anime with random nudity and multifluidity. Anyone who has a youngest sibling will know that A they have no patience, B they are a snitch, and C they STAY up in your pockets because welp you have had money for the majority of their lives because you older so why not.

Today’s plan is to catch the matinee of John Wick Chapter 2, yes I adjusted my USUAL time schedule to accommodate the fact he’s a grown ass man and might want to do other shit for his birthday. I am not a complete asshole, as far as buying him snacks and shit I own know that muffuka be wanting drinks, Reese’s pieces, and sometimes popcorn. Like YO that’s 20 bucks fam, you ain a cheap date(yes I have actually said that to him). But it should be a fun day for everybody the first John Wick was cool as shit so hopefully this one lives up to the original.


Dear hearts, let me soothe you


I know some of yall had your hopes up, you did I know it looked so damn appealing. Which is when you should have known it was a set up, the NFL has set Tom Brady up to always be the PERFECT Underdog.

Tom Brady against the league(pfft unless Brady is hurt the Patriots Cakewalk through their division whats 4 games when you always win the division anyway?)

Tom Brady against father time(Brady doesn’t run, he mostly drops back and passes father time doesn’t bother him at all)

Tom Brady against the scoreboard(Did you forget that MOST of Brady’s Super Bowl wins came via comeback?)

Seriously though, if the guy QBing the other team ISN’T named Manning Tom Brady is going to win. I think he and Peyton were within a game of each other in the win loss column and Eli is undefeated vs Brady in the post season but other than that, 5-2 yup if Eli Manning ain playing on the other side of the ball Brady is just waiting for the zeroes to click down on his next ring. “It doesn’t happen like that, Tom Brady is just a great player” he is a great player who somehow always gets the flags and his opponents never do(unless again their last name is Manning), this is not to say that I feel bad for the Atlanta Falcons yeah yeah they did well against my lack of faith in them for 2 weeks ain mean shit. They were in the Superbowl vs Tom Brady, they didn’t realize they had lost yet in the first half but when they went up by 3 scores ol Tom had them right where he wanted them. Comfortable, thinking they were in control, in at the half celebrating already. (more…)


For those looking for my movie reviews


The only time I will do a movie review over here will be in the event of it being EXTREMELY raunchy ala The Hangover, or I want to curse the living hell out of it either in fun(Deadpool) or in pain(Batman v Superman: Dawn of Sucking). Any and all movie reviews can be found on Blogspot here, unless stated early in the blog I try not to put ANY spoilers in there I may speak on the first 15 minutes or so but I try to give no more about the movie than you get from the trailers that came out. I don’t have a “star method” or a “rating system” either I liked a movie or I didn’t. If there are some nit pick things about the movie I will mention them, and if they aren’t so much about THAT movie but maybe the genre the movie is in and a few tropes they or the industry over use I try to mention that. Not that use of a well worn trope is always bad(if it’s an action movie we are going to get a shit ton of explosions and we all likey), but they do deserve a mention sometimes.

Movie rants will usually be over here mainly because it takes a whole lot of effort not to drop F bombs during a rant, and going back to edit them all out nope not fun at all. Unless it’s not so much a rant as it is a critique as to why I think a movie failed, did well, or missed it’s mark whether slightly or monumentally. An observational rant is slightly easier to control. Today’s review of “Underworld Blood Wars” should be up shortly, if not by the time you read this feel free to check it out. As always the freedom allotted me on WordPress is not always needed sometimes I can say it without all the expletives. Especially since I have someplace to get it out when I need them. Not that this is a “I’m about to disappear again” blog, no just a letting you know what else I’m doing.  (more…)


Dear Verizon, Fuck you thought


It appears that Sprint and T-mobile’s constant nailing Verizon is starting to sting. The problem is Verizon has lost it’s muffukin mind, have you seen their new ad? No, let me roll that beautiful bean footage. Yes, Verizon has decided to tell everyone that with your Facebook, Periscope, Twitch, Youtube, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix, and Twitter along with whatever other Apps you choose to use. Now I don’t know about you but I know how much data I blow through and 5 gigs barely covers it.

So, what does this commercial make me think? A that Verizon thinks people are dumb as shit. There is no other excuse for telling people “You don’t use as much data as you think you do, don’t pay for unlimited Data nooo just get 5 gigs from us and pay overage fees forever and a day.” This is not to say that I DON’T understand the play, I do. It is RARELY beneficial to concede a point to a rival, especially a point this large, the problem is this WASN’T the way to combat that play. T-mobile made streaming date to certain Apps free. IE Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Youtube don’t count towards your data limit for the month. Now I am sure that some deals and concessions were made but you can’t tell me Verizon doesn’t have the pull or cash flow to make the same deals (more…)


Sausage sales have been postpone for the foreseeable future


Dear Ladies, I get it I do. As a man, I take a peak when I see the zipper of a skirt down or up a little high, I marvel at the space between a missed button but I ALWAYS QUIETLY inform the lady in question of her predicament. I am after all a gentleman, perverted yes, but still a gentleman so I will like to ask you: COULD YOU PLEASE TELL A BROTHER WHEN HIS FLY IS OPEN. Nah, don’t giggle I know what you looking for but you ain gonna get it. Not because there ain nothing down there, but because I wear BOXER BRIEFS that’s right gals there is an extra flap protecting the merchandise from just flopping out all willy nilly. This is the second day I have walked into a bathroom after being in a room full of women to find my fly SLIGHTLY down.

Come on now, that is embarrassing. I mean it isn’t as bad as that one time in Lenny’s sub shop Lawd, those ladies were so ruthless. It appears a brother popped a button on his pants, so here I am package on display not even remotely aware. Because while a zipper will hold your pants up without the button on the top gravity has extra leverage to work it’s magic. I mean I am standing there walking around ordering my food, no idea that my pants are just flapping open(I had a jacket on), not until I slid into a seat to wait for my food to be ready to the part of my pants that the button held on to touch my hand. (more…)


Might I suggest,a trade off?


As today is Inauguration day 2017, the republicans have complete control of the white house, Senate, house, and soon the Judiciary(since you know Republicans held on to the last seat for a good 6 months with hopes of a Republican President) it looks like many of the white Christian fundamentalist dreams of ending abortion are about to come to fruition. Oh yes it has been a long and arduous battle that they have finally seen through to the end, so since Abortion is most likely about to become illegal here are a few things that I feel should become mandatory once pregnancy and birth are no longer an option but now a commandment.

I mean I am sure if you have money, connections, and a few trusted advisers you could probably jet out of the country, party, get an abortion, and come home with no one being the wiser but I am talking about for those middle-middle class, to lower middle class, and poor folks. You know the people for the whom the choice is already backbreaking to slim, slim to none. I believe that ladies should have these guarantees in place once abortion is no longer an option. (more…)


At the end of “Summer Movie Season,” what have we learned(9/04/2016)


There have been quite a few BIG movie releases this year, many of whom TANKED horribly. The ones who did not can tell us a lot about what viewers were interested in, that is if we are honest about it. I read an article a few weeks ago that wasn’t honest, it didn’t equate the “subject matter” with why movies did or didn’t do well, rather it only judged how much the movies were made for and THEN how much hype the studios tried to raise around them. Let’s look at the movies this year that made money:

Deadpool on a  budget of $58 million it made $363M. For all intents and purposes Tim Miller’s romp into the world of the Merc with the Mouth is the undisputed winner. I see some heads about to pop, budget versus how much made he’s got 305 million sitting to the side NOT counting DVD sales. While there were SOME flaws in Deadpool, most of them were due to the fact that Deadpool is tied to The X-men so it couldn’t be the rampant cameo fest that Marvel and Deadpool in particular are known for. Fox owns the movie rights to Deadpool, was really restrictive with how they lorded over those rights(and even though YES that IS A HELICARRIER in the final fight scene), and has been kid of strict with how they allow the projects to go due to SOMEBODY leaking Deadpool test footage, they threw Tim Miller the smallest budget they could to make a movie to shut the fans up.

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