When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

Tech Tales

When your kids are awesome but you with the shits

So round about March as we were planning for a June birthday I asked a simple question: Eagles Superbowl Ring OR Satellite radio. The choice was Satellite radio, so a plan was hatched.

  1. Find out how hard it is it to get an SiriusXm ready radio to be SiriusXm radio
  2. IF it ain easy, how much is it gonna cost
  3. if it isn’t wildly expensive, how long is it gonna take
  4. and can they do it at the store I was trying to buy it from

So yeah, with that plan I went up to my local Geek Squad house and hit them up for some prices. For what it required it was around 500 bucks and could be done in a few hours once the parts came in (more…)


It’s about damn time Sony


Yes it has to be said like that, it has been a sticking point since the middle of the extended console generation of the Xbox 360 and the PS3, Sony has been dicking around with allowing you to use external hard drives to save your games(not you save files but the games themselves) and transport them around. It was actually one of the BIGGEST role reversals in the last two console generations, with the PS3 Sony was DRM’d down and as horror stories came out about it folks were flocking to the Xbox 360 for the free gaming experience and the lack of hardline when it came to whether or not you could buy, sell, or rent the games. Unfortunately when it came to the Xbox one Microsoft jumped too far with the “always on, always connected to the internet” rhetoric when it came to the Xbox one. You had to have the camera(which they had an understandable reason for, it wasn’t explained well) and so was them wanting you to always be connected to the internet(for constant software updates) once again their messenger SUCKED.

The one thing that they DID present correctly was the ability to buy external storage to boost your Xbox One from 500 GB internal(which was what most of the initial consoles of both companies shipped with) to 500 internal plus whatever size external drive was available at the time. In 2013 that would most likely have been a 1 tb, which at the time would have been pretty good for an external drive, and I’m sure if you had an arm or leg to spare you might even find a 2 tb or maybe a 3 tb of the storage with it’s own power source. (more…)

It’s only rage quitting if they have a pulse

Since Donkey Kong there have been complaints about games being cheesy as fuck, I’m talking the new Chester Cheetah animation with the full Fu Manchu and the “fuck all yall you love me cause it’s cheetos attitude” cheesy. And honestly I ain here for it, I will start back from my last save point, restart the match, or go to menu in a heart beat I don’t give two shits about my current progress. I’m about to lose anyway, I’ll play a person out people make mistakes and allow you back into it. A first person shooter: Dick wad could go for the coup de gras without making sure he is in position for it. Nothing like catching an asshole with a head shot just when he was about to kill you or a team-mate. Shit Lopsided matches: fuck it I still get exp. In fighting games, hey you never know when you will get that opening and just go on a huge combo string that ends in an awesome finisher. Back in the day Killer Instinct was notorious for that, the lord of the molten queso was Cinder if you caught the person at the right part of the screen his flip kick could keep them suspended for damn near ever. You could get an ultra combo in the first round, and then a just under 100 hit ultra combo to end the match(unless there was a board with an edge they could fall off of, then once you walked them to the edge “bye bitch”). Street Fighter you could either fireball them to death or else catch them with one of the grab kings or queens(looks like Mika and Alex share that title this time, Zangief is still there but they look to be GRIP MASTERS).

And let’s not forget Mortal Kombat with either Smoke or Scorpion they would grab you, zip behind you for the upcut and grab you again, straight Limburger but again that is against HUMAN OPPONENTS. The machine somehow always has their BLOCK/COMBO BREAKER/IMPROBABLY GRAB at the muffukin ready. Especially if it’s a fucking boss fight whooooo. Oh how could I forget DoA, that fucking boos, man out of know where the super grab to unstoppable combo on that ass, you’d swear it just snuck up behind you took your clothes, lunch money, and first child all when you had the health bar at a mere sliver and your “muahahaha I am the lord of ….” speech at the ready, all about to do the big dick/clit dance on em. Tea Bags and Snail Trails all around, why because you “woooooo….. whoa WTF NO, NOOOOOO, you sloppy cunt” (more…)

The first RECORDED official FTD of 2016

I know I have already had a few Fuck This Day’s in 2016, nothing is going right shit that is supposed to be easy turns around and bites me squarely on the under cheek of my ass. Not just the cheek but the under cheek, where you really got to dig when it starts itching. So, first stop of the day we are doing a house because his HDMI stopped working no big deal right, WRONG. We plug up the new HDMI extender and it doesn’t work. Now first off the TV is too tight against the wall so MAYBE that is why the previous extender didn’t work so we go downstairs to try it out there, *jeopardy wrong answer sound* nope still doesn’t work so maybe that means the HDMI port on the device doesn’t work anymore because we tested the cables.

Now at some point during lifting and replacing TV’s, removing shelves, changing and testing wires I took my leather coat off. I didn’t really notice because I had my cloth jacket on at the time too(just to have a hood to keep my ears warm), and I mainly took it off for ease of movement. I’m also supposed to be hooking up the internet, hit the WPS button, the Novo connects and here I am ready to get it done, buuuuuut while I am connected, and his internet is secured, there is no internet. Seriously no internet even though I am connected to the router. I run a few tests(that never work), I go through a few other steps and then I just go ahead and unplug it for a 30 count(yes even an IT tech really does unplug the device and do a full power cycle. You’d be surprised how often that shit works) give it a few seconds(longer than it should have taken which should have warned me what I was in for) and boom it connects. I make a few adjustments in the devices, send out the information, and let the customer and boss know what we ran in to as well as that we will have to return.

So we head out to Mississippi and get to the Flying J where I realize summa bitch did I forget my jacket? Ask YB(cause you know at 6’2 he is OUTRAGED when I call him little since you know I’m 5’10. It’s a sibling thing if you got one you understand) fuck it we gotta go back later/somebody else has to head back and check so I just let folks know and we head on out to Holly Springs. Aiight we get our marching orders and we start going about doing the do (more…)

So I can kick out serious dough for a laptop but I got to steal an ipod mini/nano

To say I’m steaming is an understatement, I could probably do this on Blogger because you know I’m pissed, highly pissed but I could probably write this without a single cuss word, but you know what I’m thinking


Bitch the fact that we continue to provide you with tech support despite your shady ass ways, that you DARE to accuse me of theft. Motherfucker I don’t own ishit for a reason, I really don’t need it, would it be nice sure. I mean I guess I’m not a true tech snob until I own an isomething but right now if i want to listen to music I have my Blackberry with an 8gb Microsd card in it. I have yet to fill it up, so if I still have room for more music on my phone(and videos, pictures, ringtones, whatever the fuck I want) why would I steal an ipod, especially an ipod mini/nano they are under 200 bucks. I could go BUY ONE if I was so inclined to have one. Why steal yours, you know the one that belongs to your kids that has been on your desk in your office for a month. Shit I’m saying all the sudden a month LATER your kids are calling for it? You mean to tell me that for whatever reason they were being punished for it that TODAY, when I tell your ass hell the fuck no on some bullshit, they are calling you for it? (more…)

Does Primaldata Look like a Bitch

As I use this blog to say it how I want to say it when being nice just ain good enough I’ll recount my ‘U.N.I.T.Y’ moment better known as “Who you callin a BITCH”

It was a late afternoon and it was about time for me to get off from work and a customer asked me to go to his store and set his Geovision system up to be visible from the internet and his phone, after settling on a price I went over to his store and got ready to speak to the men behind the counter. Problem number one:I notice the Darker Skinned male of Indian decent looks familiar. And I don’t mean oh they all look alike familiar I mean “muffuka ain you the one from the store down the street who was playing games when it came to the money the last time”, and as if to show me just how dumb he thinks I am he plays the exact same game he used to play at the other store, “Excuse me, here to work on the what? Where are you from? Are you sure the Boss called you?” I tell him to call his boss and ask if I was expected, after the other cashier got confirmation that I was supposed to be there my swarthy friend decided he was going to fool with me a little bit. I told him the price “okay we will give you 15 dollars,” and opens the door for me to enter, I back away from the door and reitterate my fee, than he adds 10 whole dollars to sweeten the pot for me and says “okay 25, but you better do a good job.” Time is money and personally if you’re going to jerk my dick while the hair length was okay I prefer that you don’t have any on your upper lip and that you were born with a vagina and that puberty blessed you with a nice full pair of boobs, but that’s just me. (more…)

From the Primal files:filed under oh my fucking god REALLY

Holy Popshot batman

Understand if I find out who this is don't even reach for my hand

This shit right here nigga, this shit right here was like what the fuck. The NPH scene in Harold and Kumar go to white castle came to mind except: I didn’t get the “I left some love juices in the backseat” warning. I mean who does that? Seriously where dey do that at #wtdta just hand somebody a laptop with BLATANT evidence that you and Mary have a nightly engagement, and I ain talking bout mary jane either.

FUCKER, I was so glad I didn’t have to return his shit to him. Who doesn’t clean their screen after a knuckle shuffle session? Especially if its fucked off and you need it fixed. And no, this dude would NEVER get a handshake from me if I knew he was tied to that laptop. Because the depths of your nasty fucktitude is like WHOA! I can’t even imagine sending somebody clothing to be dry cleaning without being a little shame faced if I was giving them the “love juice” special. Because MOST of us have had sex, we’ve all seen dried semen before so its not like I’m gonna see the splatter pattern and be like “oh I wonder what this splattered sticky substance is, oh the hijinx that must have ensued”, no I’m gonna say “you nasty fuck clean your screen bitch”, okay my moment is over.

But yeah I get weird shit like this sometimes. Weird, fucked or gross