When I get my head on straight I'll tell ya

Gameplay

I’m gonna need Sony to get a better preshow


Like bruh that preshow was drier than a fucking saltine cracker. The shit I caught was so “who gives a fuck?” when even your announce team can’t sound hyped about the shit you are trying to get them to show either you hire a new team or else give them some FUN SHIT TO TALK ABOUT. Wow a PSVue commercial, I think Microsoft broke their brains. Welp it looks like the new Uncharted game, Lost Legacy. Looks like a Tomb Raider killer(though I didn’t know anyone wanted poor Laura dead). Okay, this looks fun an expansion pack for Horizon Zero Dawn. Okay, they are trying to copy Microsoft’s game after game format from last night. Might have worked out better if they had put it on “Live from Playstation” and there are lots of frame rate drops, though it could be the amount of devices I have on my internet(somebody needs a new more powerful router).

They are showing off the biker game again, and they have dead bodies as props hanging behind the screen on stage ooookay. Days Gone, it’s an interesting looking Zombie Survival game(which really aren’t my thing but I will admit when they look good) the quick time events were pretty smooth, okay maybe it was the channel I was watching because it had some weird person talking over Shawn.  Had to switch that, I guess I picked the wrong playstation feed. It’s kind of funny Microsoft used the same stage as last year and Sony is using the same theater guy with a giant sword on his back I wonder what game this is… Monster Hunter World Meh.

I will expand on each of these later I am actually blogging this as I watch. Looks like they either remastered or else made a sequel to Shadow of the Colossus. Must be a remaster didn’t say 2. They also showed off Call of Duty WW2 and Marvel vs Capcom Infinite. Then we got Skyrim VR because you wanted to pay them for Skyrim again admit it. Another VR game called Star Child. This is the VR portion of the show, they just showed off a game called Inpatient, and now FFXV VR Monster of the Deep okay fishing was always fun in FFXI, this MIGHT be cool. (more…)

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Microsofts E3 part 2


if you read the earlier post you see that Microsoft brought the games to E3 2017, not some of the unfortunate canceled titles from 2016 but a whole range of new ones with all different levels of Experiences being offered. Now understand for the most part this isn’t the grand daddy show oh no Microsoft I believe is going to do it again on either Tuesday or Wednesday this was basically just “Hey this is our new hardware and the games we will be showing off this week.” And with 42 games in all they have created quite a buzz. Anyway next up on the list was

Cuphead, this game has been kicking around for a few years it looks like an old school cartoon I mean early days of color style cartoon. It was just a quick reminder and a release date but it is nice to see an anticipated game come out instead of being canceled(say like Scalebound, that game looked cool as shit). It’s basically a side scrolling shooter but it could be fun.

Crackdown 3, crackdown one was a fun game that we all liked til my 360 broke, Crackdown 2 came out and became the game that NOBODY talked about(I guess I could look it up) I didn’t get a chance to play it because my Xbox 360 finally died and I wanted a blu ray player so I got a PS3. The action proposes to be more over the top and they have PROMISED fully destructible environments, it has a release date now so lets see if they can deliver. And with Terry Crews as one of the voice actors you know you will be constantly hyped up, as you can see in the trailer he is having way too much fun in his shiny outfit. Yall den gave TC a big gun, a microphone and told him go HAM smh it’s like they want a Cole Train in Crackdown 3. Come on now I know as you level up so does your gear “Step up your Boom” though, have they not seen an Old Spice commercial? (more…)


Xbox One X? XOX tired of the Bone jokes are we Microsoft?


Not that the term Xbone X won’t become a thing, cause it probably will, looks sweet though. And yes, yes I know how game fanboys are people are gonna be all about “specs mean nada, what about the games” welp as Phil announced 22 exclusives with double X enhanced experiences(Hmm the XX I like it, almost porno graphic yup they had to see this coming). Now to be fair, I got so bored trying to wait for the conference to start that I missed the beginning of the show so I watched someone else’s live stream and wound it back. I wanted to make sure I got the console name right before I started Blogging about it. SO the important shit:

The Xbox One X is smaller(it’s barely larger than the controller I guess they got tired of the SIZE comments cause people only like their Dicks, Tits, Asses and TV’s big smh), it looks sleeker, comes in an almost either matte black or else Gun Metal Gray. It is also Launching as a Scorpio(IE between October 22 and November 21), they didn’t keep the name but at least they dropped it around the right time. I know I am currently watching the mixer stream, but they are dropping these exclusives like crazy, a new Metro(which I will get into detail with later), Forza 7, Deep Rock Galactic, State of Decay 2, The Darwin Project, okay and now they are talking about a minecraft update. It almost looks like Microsoft is saying “take your claims of 4k gaming not being possible and our lack of games along with your PS4 Pro, without a 4k bluray player even though Sony makes it, turn that sum bitch sideways and shove it straight up your ass. (more…)


Nintendo at E3, if we can call it that


Honestly, I was holding off doing Nintendo because they did. Like seriously if I am not mistaken they did 2:30 of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, not 2:30 am or pm 2 HOURS and 30 MINUTES of ONE DAMN GAME. And then they threw in some new pokemon Sun and Moon. No, that isn’t a joke. Nintendo gave so few fucks about your E3 viewership, that while they did confirm in a later press conference that the Nintendo NX did exist, they didn’t speak on it. They didn’t speak on Metroid, or Mario Bros(that I saw, I may go back and watch it a third time, but it was like Zelda, more Zelda, and another person playing Zelda). I’m serious, if I was talking shit about the guy who was dieing in the FF XV demo because he looked like he never played the game in his life, the guy who ran up on the big rock monster, in low level gear, and got ONE SHOTTED, yeah THAT man totally lost the internet.

You supposed to be showing us how cool Nintendo is, and as if they were self trolling Nintendo focused on ONE GAME, and then to troll YOURSELF you die, during your play through, OF THE MAIN NINTENDO GAME WE SEE, that supposedly you have been playing during the whole development. I can see some of yall don’t believe me, so here it is Nintendo E3 2016. Matter of fact:

Dear Sony,

I apologize for complaining about how many VR games you showed during your E3 showcase. Here I thought you were wrong as shit for trying to show people something they would have to pay 400 dollars MORE just to play, plus the price of the game. But Nintendo, Nintendo just showed me that fuck deficits don’t come with a bunch of games that may not even sell because it’s 300+ dollar peripheral cutting edge. No they just said “fuck it, you only want to see one game from us for 3 hours oh and Pokemon”

Yes I said that there was a SECOND E3 game Pokemon Sun and Pokemon Moon, they played that for like 40 minutes. Like seriously, they had LIVE step aways where they just showed you folks walking around their treehouse(which a giant monster from the new Zelda game) and kept playing Zelda, until they decided to start showing you new Pokemon. When I tell you that this isn’t Nintendo hate, cause Nintendo showed complete disdain for my time it ain hate. This is exactly what they hell they did. So yeah, Nintendo the new Zelda game looked awesome, really easy to pick up, the cooking system is nice, and that was an interesting new pokemon game but ummm

 

What else you got?


Sony at E3, Is your throat ready for VR


If Bathesda and Microsoft were all about Gameplay videos Sony was staking it’s claim on the VR Gameplay experience. Most of the games shown looked cool(I decided to Live Tweet Sony’s E3 since I was finally not working), looks like somebody is showing VR Psychonauts right now(my twitch keeps freezing, probably WAAAY too many people on the stream) and while it looked cool I never played Pyschonauts on any platform. But yeah Sony spent at LEAST 20 minutes on VR games, which was surprising since they didn’t mention the RUMORED(again if you don’t show it, it falls back to the rumor mill) PS 4k Neo and I’m not sure if the Current PS4 can handle full VR as it stands. But to the VR games since they seemed to be the heart of Sony’s E3 experience:

First up Resident Evil VII(They have the name in a cool way where the VII_ in Evil were red, that last I being the top half of the L of course to make it a Roman Numeral 7) the VR experience was interesting as you followed the players eyes and flashlight in a sweeping motion. I mean, I am sure there are some brave souls who will try it but I doubt Survival Horror will be that spot that VR sticks. I can see too many heart attacks and nightmares, even if you block out the sides you still know the rest of your room is around you, but in a full immersion setting I don’t know if you would trust a person who wasn’t bother by it. Seriously a zombie jumping on your actual nose and you are just sitting there like “Bummer, gotta start this round again…” Shiiiit that would be a 400 dollar not quite boomerang. Seriously, go watch people play PT and tell me how you expect folks to take 8+ hours of that shit and not be screaming their lungs out.

Farpoint it almost looked like Space Fallout, or even Space Skyrim it definitely had some awesome visuals as you were looking over the gun, doing scans, and watching your mission mates crashing in flames. The alien terrain looked damn near like Tattoine, sparse desert, crumbled buildings, some weird-looking aliens, and a cool looking weapon. So I don’t know if I am going to play it, but I must say it may turn out to be one of the worlds most awesome Proof of Concept game for VR. (more…)


So Microsoft says take your fear and shove it


Microsoft’s E3 can be summed up as such: that Xbox Everywhere thing we mentioned, we meant that shit. Xbox slim, yup it’s real and we gone open the show with it. And in Closing, Xbox Scorpio yup that bitch is real too. Oh, you thought we were scared to admit we didn’t put out a strong enough system this time, nope tell Sony take this with their 4.5 teraflops we going for 6. And we saw which conference you liked yesterday between EA and Bathesda, you want to see gameplay, we got your gameplay. Of the games I saw

Forza Horizon 3, don’t care. I love Forza Motorsports 6, but I didn’t like the horizon demo so no for me on horizon. Here’s the gameplay though just in case you are interested in it

Gears of War 4, looks awesome, I may step back in.

Recore, looks like fun I don’t know if you will be able to carry more than one buddy around with you or if it’s one buddy, one core, and you have to just keep moving it from one beasty to the next.

Halo Wars 2 looks interesting, I like RTS games sometimes but will I like a Halo RTS not really sure. And as soon as I get home I’m going to download the beta(using the tablet to watch E3 so yeah can’t do it from the tablet)

Gwent, Ghent, whatever the Witcher III card game is. I mean I already play magic so I may give it a look just like the Elder Scrolls legends game

State of Decay 2, I didn’t play the first State of Decay Zombie game manly because I suck at Zombie games one of these days I will twitch myself playing black ops Zombies so you can see just how bad I am at it.

Dead Rising 4 was also shown on the stage

Of course as I stated earlier Microsoft announced the Xbox one S(basically Xbox one Slim) and at the end they announced Xbox Project Scorpio which is the hulking new Xbox the slim is 299 in line with any of your current Xbox one purchases, I think the Scorpio will most likely be 399-449 just because of the power boost. But if they price it under 360 I won’t complain and depending on what I see on the Scorpio I may buy a new System. It’s schedule for Holiday 2017(so basically Christmas 2017 so I have plenty of months to look into it and decide if I want to blow a check). I expect it to be equal to what Sony does, now while SOME Occulus games were announced and Bathesda was there talking about adding Fallout 4 to Xbox VR, during THEIR event the only mentioned the HTC Vive they possibly haven’t gotten their new Dev Kits yet. (more…)