From the Primal files:filed under oh my fucking god REALLY

Understand if I find out who this is don't even reach for my hand

This shit right here nigga, this shit right here was like what the fuck. The NPH scene in Harold and Kumar go to white castle came to mind except: I didn’t get the “I left some love juices in the backseat” warning. I mean who does that? Seriously where dey do that at #wtdta just hand somebody a laptop with BLATANT evidence that you and Mary have a nightly engagement, and I ain talking bout mary jane either.

FUCKER, I was so glad I didn’t have to return his shit to him. Who doesn’t clean their screen after a knuckle shuffle session? Especially if its fucked off and you need it fixed. And no, this dude would NEVER get a handshake from me if I knew he was tied to that laptop. Because the depths of your nasty fucktitude is like WHOA! I can’t even imagine sending somebody clothing to be dry cleaning without being a little shame faced if I was giving them the “love juice” special. Because MOST of us have had sex, we’ve all seen dried semen before so its not like I’m gonna see the splatter pattern and be like “oh I wonder what this splattered sticky substance is, oh the hijinx that must have ensued”, no I’m gonna say “you nasty fuck clean your screen bitch”, okay my moment is over.

But yeah I get weird shit like this sometimes. Weird, fucked or gross